#18 - Order of Films

1. The Spanish Prisoner: The twist at the end redeemed the somewhat slow paced movie that could have gone twelve different ways.

2. The Karate Kid: It was a classic, that's what the Katate Kid has going for it, It was the first but by today's standards it relies on its retro status to remain interesting.

3. The Borne Identity: It was an interesting film, in the end it was a two hour escape from the real world and it didn't end up having any real moral.

4.5 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: This was a childhood favorite of mine, the colors and bright theme amazed me. In retrospect there was no deeper meaning to the film.

4. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: It was well a crafted film, I can't say I'm a fan of the pedomorphosis sub-genre but all things considered it wasn't bad.

5. Raiders of the Lost Ark: Yet another escape movie. Such memorable quotes as "Why done it have to be snakes" may live on for a time but like all the films on this list, there was no deeper meaning.

6. The Dark Knight: A similar situation to Benjamin Button, I was never into comic strips or batman movies, and while the Dark Knight was an OK movie, it wasn't something I would have picked out in a video store.

7. Serendepity: This is where the films start getting bad. No, I don't like romantic comedy, it is the lowest form of human distraction. I certainly don't like films that seem to be glorifying idiotic and selfish behavior in the name of love.

8. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: There are some movies that shouldn't be remade, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one of those, Sadly this remake, that forsakes it's predecessor's name, was the first in a lengthening line of films by Tim Burton that is not worth seeing.

9. Finding Nemo: The animation wasn't that great, and it was all Finding Nemo rests on. Without it you have a stupid storyline with a ridiculous number of needless tangents.

10. Wall-E: No dialog, No dice. That's what I say. The characters where one sided, and like Finding Nemo, once people realize the animation is so-so they will see this movie sucked.

11. The Italian Job: I have one thing to say to the creators of The Italian Job "If you are going to try to rip off Ocean's 11, go ahead and just remake it, because you can't write something better".

12. Ironman: You know, I could be a super sexy, smooth taking millionaire too if I had a super suit I designed in a terrorist cave.

13.Watching the Grass Grow: What can say, I like it more than watching Never Back Down


14. Never Back Down: I think I can honestly say that I have never been forced to watch a worse movie. I would say if I was in a therater I would walk out, but that would be impossible because no force on God's green earth could make me pay to watch a movie as obviously idiotic as Never Back Down.

#17 - 10 Favorite Films

10 - The Godfather: The Godfather was the Mafia movie to define all mafia movies, with an excellent cast to boot. Not only was the Godfather pleasing on the surface with shootings and grand betrayals but of several levels complexity added to its aesthetic.

9 - Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas: Fear and Loathing, in movie form was not the best film of all time, perhaps not even a great film, but in conjunction with the original gonzo journalism contained in book form it was one of the greatest cinematic master pieces of all time. To learn more about his role Johnny Depp spent a month in Hunter S. Thompson's basement.

8 - French Girl: Any movie that can inspire the same amount of amazement, neither positive or negative, that I felt after watching French Girl, is a masterpiece in its own right. I mean watching a driving scene that lasts for 20 minutes, need I say more? That's David Lynch for you.

7 - Tron: Call me a Sci-Fi loving nerd, but Tron was great. The graphics take me back to a simpler time, when you still could do state of the art CGI in your basement and it was OK to wear a Hawwian shirt in public. Despite being a minor misnomer, the title summons visions of blue tinted battles and horrible abuse of acronyms.

6 - A Scanner Darkly: There are two kinds of dystopian fiction in the world, total control and partial control, A Scanner Darkly is the quintessential  of the later group. Besides, any movie based on a Philip K. Dick (the most renowned science-fiction writer of all time) book earns instant credit.

5 - American Psycho: A film that involves a man dropping a running chainsaw on a hooker has to be great, but what's funny is that the far more disturbing part of this movie is the non-murderous side of Patrick Baitman's life. Killing scenes are nice, intense psychological twists are even better.

4 - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: This was the western to end all westerns. Imagine, Three gunslinging characters, all a gritty shade of grey (despite what the title might suggest) battling across both sides of the civil war in a grand and epic struggle for a lifetimes worth of riches. Few films have been more huge in their scope and those that have, have been failures.

3 - Waking Life: After watching this movie I was compelled to flip a light switch every few minutes, it was that compelling. Waking Life moved far from the norm of film making, and achieved something great in doing it. The movie covered a range of topics from gun control to every major fringe science to divinity and god.

2 - Lady Snowblood: Yes, Lady Snowblood is a difficult film to watch, more so if you stick to subtitles as a true fan would, but after watching you will experience one of the most profound experiences of your life. You will realize if you don't have a vendetta against someone you aren't living, and that every revenge film since 1972 has been a ripoff of Lady Snowblood.

1 - A Clockwork Orange: If you want to know more you can read my first blog post. In summary A Clockwork Orange delivered a powerful political message as well a profound moral declaration. It was a revolutionary book that went on to do even more on the silver screen.

#16 - Raiders of the Lost Ark

George Lucas and Steven Spielberg's classic movie did not invent adventure, as it was largely inspired by old serials, pulp magazines and B-movies, but it certainly revamped our conception of big screen adventure. Even "Star Wars" from a few years before wasn't as relentlessly exciting, and one could argue that very few movies have been since either. Not that they haven't tried to crack the "Indiana Jones" formula countless times. But none of the knockoffs possess the wit, the energy nor the thrills of the 1981 film and its sequels. 

"Raiders of the Lost Ark" doesn't waste any time and grabs your attention right away, starting right smack into danger and adventure as Dr. Henry Jones Jr. (Harrison Ford) and his cowardly assistants  discover an ancient temple in the Amazon rainforest and enter it to retrieve a priceless golden idol. All the elements are in place already: exotic locales, historical artifacts, lethal traps like statues shooting poisonous arrows and, in the middle of it all, good old Indiana Jones. He's one of those iconic characters that have truly made their mark on popular culture. You hear Indiana, you don't think of the state, but you instantly picture the hat, the whip, Ford's wicked grin... You hear, "I hate snakes", or "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go" or whatever your favorite line is. You see Indy running away from that huge boulder, or matter-of-factly shooting down that show-off Arab with the big sword... I really enjoyed the Temple of Doom, watching "Raiders" again, I was still totally taken away and I appreciated the film.

#15 - Never Back Down (-1 of 10)

Never Back Down is essentially Fight Club minus every admirable point. In fact, with its thin characters and derivative plot, the finished product seems more like a marketing concept than an actual film.

Brooding teen Jake Tyler (played by Sean Faris, who resembles a young Ben Affleck) relocates with his mom and little brother to Orlando. Jake had gotten into a brawl on the high-school football field back home, and his rep as a fighter has followed him to the family's new digs. 
Apparently, Jake's fight was such a riveting event that everyone under 17 in the entire country viewed the video on the Internet. What did bad scriptwriters do before the Web?

Jake struggles to fit in at his new school. Things come to a head when he winds up in a brawl with a bully named Ryan (Cam Gigandet, looking more than a few years past graduation). After getting pummeled, Jake is drawn into the world of mixed martial arts.

Under the guidance of a wise mentor named Mr. Miyagi, er, Jean (Djimon Hounsou of Blood Diamond), Jake learns to fight by the rules and to grow up emotionally. Heck, he even attracts the attention of a pretty blonde at school.

Obviously, the movie is squarely aimed at pumped up youths with no sense of shame. That's fine, but the audience still deserves characters that are fleshed out and a plot that shows some flashes of originality.

Don't look for that here. All the characters are stock types, down to Jake's nerdy little sidekick (an unappealing Evan Peters). The worst off is Hounsou, who's stuck offering the kind of platitudes not heard since Kung Fu went off the air.

Director Jeff Wadlow shows little imagination with a bad script. This is the kind of film in which the fighting sequences are filmed in slow motion. Sometimes, that's exciting; here, it only makes them seem duller - and longer. 

#14 - Wall-E (4/10)

In a dystopian future world of about 700 years hence, the planet as we know it has become fouled by so much garbage and consumer refuse its inhabitants have gone. Except for one. Wall-E, a diminutive robot programmed

to collect trash, compact it and use the resulting cubes as bricks to erect strange, high structures;

But inside little Wall-E's circuitry there pulses a heart and mind, not unlike the little real-life kiddies targetted to bond with him by the hundreds of millions. His happy hours in a city he has virtually to himself are interrupted one day with the arrival of a massive spaceship which deposits a "probe" and then returns to wherever it came from. The white egg-shaped visitor turns out to be an Extra-terrrestrial Vegetation Evaluator "Eve"- that is quick to zap that which she doesn't understand or thinks poses a threat. Her mission is to electronically report any sign of organic life to the mother ship Axiom.

For the adult who doesn't watch all this through the eyes of a young offspring, the joy is in the expressiveness of the characters, art direction and seamless visual artistry. In that, this is a high achieving movie. But the story may be too artificial (no pun intended) and predictable for a demanding viewer. The story provides action and effects, all exceedingly charming, but doesn't bring to life or interest the "evil" forces so hell bent on avoiding a return to earth, the reason for which is less than adequately explored. Does it mean the loss of absolute control?

In fact, once Wall-E boards the Axiom the story takes a turn that sheds no light on what made him the brave mini-compactor that he is, which is where we want the story to take us. Without the understanding of villainous co-pilot and the source of its power, we're asked to just go along with it without too much questioning. The threat level is too lightweight to be felt (other than a feeling of detachment).

All in all, lacking as any sort of meaningful movie.

#13- Batman v. Ironman

In a grand death match, who would win between batman and Ironman? To me the answer is clear, Ironman. Which movie was better? Without a doubt and for that same reason it would be batman. No one wants to see a movie where a guy in a robot suit who can't be beat. Batman on the other hand had to fight using his wit and skill. Batman was smart, he was a kungfu master and he had to win his fights using more than just brute strength. Additionally Batman's morality was constantly in question, and the viewer was asked to examine the validity of Batman's motives. Iron man on the other hand is fighting in an imperialist war and we're asked to simply accept that his side is the right one for the simple reason that he's on it. All in all there is little question which movie was better, Batman, although he might not win in a fight he would and dose win this film critique.

#12- Iron Man (2 of 10)

If we had to make a scatter graph of films, the vertical axis would represent quality of substance with the top being the best and the horizontal axis representing the number of bad, mindless cliches with the least number being at the left we could easily put the 2008 Iron Man movie in the extreme bottom right corner, further even than such movies as The Evil Dead (not to speak poorly of The Evil Dead, it was a great film, just chock-full of cliche and bad filmmaking.) 

In Iron Man we have the super-genius super rich womanizing millionaire who is an American weapons manufacturer up against evil middle eastern 'terrorists' and power hungry villains within his own company(which, may I say, was sooo obvious from third minute of the film on.)

The first scene of the movie spoke volumes of what was to come. Let me just say this, a bunch of marines with big guns in a big vehicle playing AC/DC is not original. I suppose it might appeal to a certain brand rednecked ultra patriots but not to me and not to an intelligent audience.

Secondly, the idea of making the film into a iron man vs. iron man was terrible. It was like The Incredible Hulk, and so many Godzilla films before it, clearly the writers weren't smart enough to think of a villain that wasn't exactly like the protagonist. 

Don't even start on the dialog, it was clear that several of the characters where there for the sole reason of presenting dialog opportunities for Tony Sark to show off how impressive and "witty" he is. A little film making tip, if you have to create characters to supplement other characters you probably have a bad script on your hands.

All in all, one bad movie.

#11- The Dark Knight (7 of 10)

Batman: The Dark Knight summarized: Entertaining? Certianly. A good film? Yes. Over-hyped? No doubt.

I enjoyed the latest incarnation in the long line of batman movies, it was a well done film with two classic batman villains and decent writing but the drooling that critics did over it was ridiculous.

In The Dark Knight Bruce Wane fights crime along with his more legitimate co-conspirators Harvey Dent and James Gordon. Long time fans of the batman series will identify Harvey Dent as the real name of Two-Face one of batman's many nemeses.

As for acting, the movie stood up to expectations, in that it was well acted, but not the greatest piece of cinema ever to bless our screens. At first I was disoriented to see Patrick Bateman (The American Psycho) in a batman movie, because of his dress in the non-costumed parts Christian Bale looked uncomfortably like he did in American Psycho. However after a solid performance I was willing to forgive this and accept him as the batman.

As for the critics that are swooning over the movie, particularly the "attention to details" and excellent props, I have one thing to say. No. Yes there was some thought put into making everything look grimy or gritty, but sprinkling dust and under-lighting every scene doesn't give a film atmosphere, it just looks stupid.

Which brings me to my next gripe: Batman lives in Gotham City, not Chicago. With nearly every outdoor scene being filmed in a easily recognizable part of chicago the viewer has to wonder if they're watching Batman or a Chicago mob flick.

In the end, The Dark Knight was a good movie, just not the pinnacle of the film industry it has been made out to be

#10- The Borne Identity (7 of 10)

You enjoy it while you're there, but once you've seen it, you've seen it -- you don't feel as though there are secrets and meanings tucked away in dark corners, as you do with a more artful thriller like Memento, but Memento immersed the audience in the hero's disorientation, while The Bourne Identity is just another thrill ride, though a reasonably well-crafted one.

The CIA wants to find Bourne, or kill him, or both. Bourne isn't sure which, so he flees to Paris, along with a German drifter named Marie.

Marie whom he entices with $10,000 and the promise of more gives the movie a badly needed shot of what-the-hell attitude, need to keep the film at least halfway believable. Terrified in moments of danger, Marie nonetheless gets it together enough to yell at an assassin, demanding to know where he got her picture.

The Bourne Identity doesn't bother much with the reality of what it might be like to discover gradually that one is, at the very least, a highly skilled government agent of some sort, or maybe worse. Borne is seems somewhat unbothered by his lightning reflexes and ninja skills.

It would have been nice if the story had been complex instead of just obscured until the end. As it was the whole thing was pretty predictable, and there was no real twist after the first 20 minutes.

The Bourne Identity does the job, but it's a very basic job; I can't work up a lot of respect for a movie that is essentially one guy beating up on everyone else for hour and a half only to learn what's going on in the last five minutes.

#9- The Italian Job (7 of 10)

A team of thieves' last job is to steal millions of dollars in gold from the home of some guy in Venice. It is never really made clear who this person is and why he has that much gold inside of his house. After the job one of the thieves turns around and steals the gold for himself, killing the leader in the process. Some years later the leader's daughter comes back for revenge by stealing the gold back.

This was one movie I was not expecting to like at all. I was surprised that I was happy that I'd watched it. It wasn't the movie in its entirety that reeled me in. It was all the clever little things. Like realizing that Mos Def was playing a character mostly deaf. Or Lyle insisting that he was the originator of Napster (named as such because he was napping when his roommate stole it from him) and he is very bitter about the idea being stolen from him. Or even half the stuff that comes out of Handsome Rob's mouth. And who would have thought to use souped up Mini Coopers as a getaway cars?

I enjoyed the acting, though it much of the dialogue was stilted and it seemed every scene was just another way of telling you that the thieves where super talented. Good acting with a somewhat deficient script.

Not a bad film, definitely not the best. I enjoyed but I might be a little embarrassed to admit it. Well it'll make a good TV movie at least

#8- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (9 of 10)

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a well crafted film, one which is enjoyable the first time and bares up to re-watching. It was all around good, with good acting, an excellent plot and lovable characters.

In the film, Benjamin, the title character, is born in a senile condition but becomes younger with time, like reverse ageing. While the core of the story is about his relationship with a girl who ages in a more mundane fashion the film meanders, not in a bad way, about Benjamin's whole life.

The film's strongest point is its complex plot, with several side stories weaving in and out of the primary plot. For example, a former professional swimmer who meets and becomes a love interest of Benjamin reappears briefly later in the movie, after swimming the English Channel. This particular style of film reminds me of another great film, Forest Gump in which a full life story is told, with several similar side stories.

Another interesting part of the movie was the special effects used in making the actors appear the correct ages for the story. As for Daisy, the heroine of the story, several actresses are used, however Benjamin is played by Brad Pitt from senility to infancy. A small piece of film trivia here, before 1956 the standard in the film industry was to hire older actors and use makeup to make them appear younger if the film had to cover younger parts of their lives, however with the film Giant (one of James Dean's three major films) younger actors, i.e. James Dean, where used and where made to look older. It was a very novel approach at the time but has become commonplace. It's interesting how far we've come since then.

All in all The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was an all around excellent film, a must see and perhaps the best film for some time before or since. At the same time, I realize that this movie may not be for all, due to the relatively high need to pay close attention.

#7- Rocky III (7 of 10)

One might think a question common among Rocky connoisseurs would be 'Has Rocky jumped the shark?' but the more honest question is 'When did Rocky jump the shark'. If you asked me I would say somewhere between III and IV.

For those unfamiliar with the Rocky films, Rocky Balboa (played by Sylvester Stallone) is an Italian American boxer. In the first two movies Rocky rises to be the heavy weight champion of the world and in the third movie he has to defend and regain his title against a stronger opponent. The Rocky films are the typical underdog overcoming stifling odds movies.

Rocky III was certainly a entertaining film, the question however is whether 3 is too much or just enough. It was good to see most of the cast from the original Rocky back for round three (no pun intended), especially Apollo Creed played by Carl Weathers. As we see in later rocky films the loss of the original cast really takes away from a film sequel.

If Rocky III was better than it was bad then the appearance of Mr. T as Clubber Lang is what tipped the balance. At times Mr. T's acting was over the top but generally he added an element to the movie that lends it re-watchability. With such great quotes as 'I pity the foo[fool]!' Rocky III will at least be remembered, even if not favourably.

In the end I really can't say whether Rocky III was a worthy film or not. It had qualities of a great film, but at the same time it had several of the tell-tale signs of being a series that was dragged out for too many sequels and should be put to rest. In the end I would say it's worth a watch, but you should make up your own mind.

#6- The Spanish Prisoner (9 of 10)

There are two kinds of films, the kind that challenge the audience to think and those that aim only to entertain. The Spanish Prisoner definitely falls into the first of those two categories. 

The movie is about a stock market analyst, Joe Ross, who develops a 'process' for use in the open market. Supposedly this process will generate quite a sum of money for its investors. Joe is befriended by Jimmy Dell, played by Steve Martin and is subsequently conned into giving up his process.

The acting was perhaps not as good as it could have been, don't get me wrong it wasn't bad but some of the dialog seemed stilted and facial expression and body language where less  immersive than they could have been. Steve Martin proved to be the most experienced actor, playing his role deftly, even if it seemed to have a comedian play such a serious role.

What little the film lacked in acting it more than made up in plot. The story line was well crafted and engaging. What was nice was that the audience could imaginably predict what was going to happen if they where quick on their feet, for example at the point when a fake FBI agent contacts Ross, from what had been gathered earlier in the film it would be possible to determine that the FBI agent was an impostor. If there was one thing that could be added to the film is a warning at the beginning of the film stating that the audience should stick with the film, even if they become confused, all is explained in the end.

All in all The Spanish Prisoner is an excellent film and very engaging, a must watch for fans of the mystery genre.

#5- Serendipity (4 of 10)

As a film Serendipity is unenjoyable, one I could go the rest of my life never seeing this movie again and I'd be perfectly happy. However, I should say my opinion is likely biased; romantic comedies are not my preferred genre of film. As a consequence my experience with such films is limited, but from what little I have seen Serendipity would sit somewhat higher among the ranks for it’s occasional humor and wit.

 In the movie Jonathan Trager, played by John Cusack, meets his “Dream Woman”, through a fortunate accident (called serendipity), who is a firm believer in fate or destiny and leaves whether or not she will continue to be with John up to chance. Several years later when both characters are about to be married (not to each other) they each go on a mad search for the other.

 All in all the characters where flat, Sara and John are “good”, their spouses are subpar and their respective friends on their search for each other seem to serve no purpose other than to provide an opportunity for the main to characters to express their feelings.

 The film isn’t entirely devoid of wit and humor, Eugene Levy, as a Bloomingdale's salesman, is humorous and entertaining. The closes misses and round about ways of finding of each other by the main characters are also amusing.

 In conclusion Serendipity isn’t a great film, not even a good film but probably not a terrible one. If hard pressed, I might watch it again, if I was terribly bored. Maybe… 

#4- Finding Nemo (4 of 10)

Is Finding Nemo a good film? Upon my most recent viewing of it, I would say no, it's cliche and uninteresting. But on recollection of the first time I saw it, I'd have to say I used to have a better impression of the film. I think much of the enjoyment of the film was in its novelty.

In the movie the protagonist, Marlin, loses his son, Nemo. Through the trials they both face to try to find each other their character flaws are resolved and they live happily ever after.

One of the main attractions of the film was its animation. It was one of the first films to use the bubbly and plastic look that was ever so prevalent in the film. All the bright colors where pleasing to look at, at first but after seeing the film a couple of times it becomes like wallpaper and you realize that there's not a whole lot to the movie, save its bubbly graphics.

As for the plot, I have to say that I'm no fan, but others seem to like it. It's pretty obvious from the beginning that Marlin has issues with letting his son go, and as the film progresses we see that he gradually overcomes that fear. For example, when in he's about be eaten by a whale and his friend, Dory, tells him to let go he refuses and uses Nemo's name. This is one way of developing a character, although it certainly isn't subtle.

While I found most the characters flat, Gill, a fish in an aquarium whom Nemo meets, did appear to have some depth. Gill was captured from the sea and throughout the movie expressed his desire to return to it. Gill has an injury that is never explained. Later in the movie Gill sacrifices himself to help Nemo escape. If an animated fish can truly have an interesting  personality then Gill did.

In the end, I'd say Finding Nemo was an insubstantial film, and does not bare close inspection. It is however amusing and heart warming if one isn't looking foe a movie that will really cause to think.

#3- The Karate Kid (9 of 10)

The Karate Kid, at least the 1984 original, is a truly classic movie and I would recommend to just about anyone. In the movie Daniel Larusso (played by Ralph Macchio) moves to California against his will. He is immediately drawn into conflict with the local hooligans, and is beaten up regularly. Until he meets an old man from Okinawa who teaches him karate and turns his life around. 

To say that The Karate Kid is the best film ever would be a lie, it certainly shows it age. It was in the made in the ‘80s and you can see it in the dress and haircuts, this can take away from the file or add a retro touch depending on how you look at it. 

The film has all the signs of being cliché, young kid faces adversity, is defeated, through his strength of character he gains strength, the underdog wins out in the end. However The Karate Kid is not as terrible as one might think given the breakdown. 

Firstly, the acting was pretty good, particularly Pat Morita as Mr. Miyagi, who is entertaining and believable. Mr. Miyagi’s additional story about his enlistment in the U.S. Army and his wife’s death in an internment camp during child birth ended up adding to the plot without overpowering it. 

Also, by using karate as the unifying theme it also brings freshness to the action/drama genre. Lots of films have covered this story, few have used karate. 

 In conclusion The Karate Kid is a good film, typical of its time but good all the same. Definitely worth a rent if your into the ‘80s classics.

#2- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (7 of 10)

In my opinion there some movies that should be remade, and some that shouldn't. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate is of the later group.

When you put Tim Burton and Danny Elfman on the same project you will get the same movie every time, with a meticulous music score and a dozen one dimensional actors with way too much makeup. That's not to say this style of film making doesn't have merit, it has made a nice career for Tim Burton but it doesn't mesh well with the classic Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

The first of the many unfortunate differences is the country in which the film supposedly takes place. The 1971 version of the film takes place in England. In the 2005 incarnation pounds are clearly in use, however a man offers Charlie "500 Dollars". While this is a minor inconsistency it hurts it.

The second and perhaps most blaring difference is that of the personality of Willy Wonka. In the original film Willy Wonka was witty, not just strange. Johnny Depp did the best he could but the greatest actor in the world couldn't save a film from a poor script. Also the addition of an additional story for Willy Wonka was unnecessary and took away from the overall plot.

Third, again typical of Tim Burton, it was felt that a narrator with a deep voice was needed to make the film a coherent work. This 'little touch' was a sign that the acting and plot was sub-par and needed the crutch of narration.

It was clear to me that even if it is possible to remake Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory that it didn't happen in 2005. Perhaps this remake can find a spot on cable TV but it isn't and never will come close to the original.